Thursday, May 01, 2003

It's Labour Day. Whee. Totally lost track of the days it seems. Kept forgetting that 1st May was a holiday. Look what exam-stress does to one!

Well. Don't you EVER forget how frantic and overwhelmed you felt during the last month, Yvonne! Nah-uh... When the new semester comes along, I'll bet you'd forget all too easily. Which is why you're blogging it. So that your friends (or whoever happens to chance upon it) may glean a lesson from it. So that you shall be haunted and reminded about what you ought to have learnt from this semester FOREVER!!! Remember how you only just enlightened yourself about what LSM 2102 was supposed to be all about, just less than a month before the finals. Remember how you cracked under pressure whilst studying for the final test for Understanding the Universe. Remember the butterflies in your tummy before you took your Biodiversity paper, how you were so utterly perplexed and lost with all the new terms you had to commit to memory within a week or so. Remember how bochup you were in studying for your Singapore Studies module. Remember how much crap you tried to spew up to save your skin. Remember how you'd sit for 3 lectures straight without paying any attention. (what the heck did i do for the 6 hours anyway?!?!) Remember all the readings you diligently zapped at the start of the sem... how little of them you actually got down to reading in the end. Remember how you'd come home, plop your notes on the floor, and not pick them up till the next lecture. I could go to an even harsher level in listing all the stuff you ought to remember. The only glitch is... well... *gulp*... it's amazing how much one can seem to forget (well, or lose the fervor of remembering anyway...) in less than 24 hours after the very last paper. *sweatdrop*

Oh yes. And I remember feeling really crummy and full of remorse as I was in the midst of revision. How I told myself that if only I'd been consistant from Day 1, I wouldn't have been so frantic toward the exams. If only I'd really taken each semester as a mini A'levels. If only I'd made sure I understood this point, or that concept, or read up on those topics before lectures, or read up again on those topics after lectures. If only I'd spent less time griping about the huge amount of content and more time trying to kindle at least some sort of interest in what was being taught. (Well admittedly there were modules which didn't require much effort to, like... Biod!)

Like the master who left his servants with each his share of talents... Even though I still don't know what talents I have to use for His glory, the least I can do is to fully utilise the brain He's given. Genius, I'm not. But it becomes an utter shame when opportunities abound for me to use my mind, and I don't, choosing instead to slack and slack and slack and... well... slack. Grades are secondary as compared to giving my best shot in what I do... and enjoying it in the process...

*sigh* Lessons that are to be etched in my mind. I'm one who learns things the hard way, and yet... forgets all too easily once the dark cloud has passed.

But chins up now... Whatever will be, will be. God blessed you by letting you pass your Organic Chem by the skin of your teeth last sem. If you've to retake your SS module... (oh.. the horror..) then so it shall be. But have faith that He is with you. Even when bogged down by the mire of questioning what you're doing in Uni, taking the seemingly direction-less route, He's still with you. Semester 1 was where you resisted the new environment and path that you were taking. Semester 2.. well... you kinda came to terms with it. There were even days you felt cheerful whilst on your way to school. It'd be a pity if you were to wallow away the remainder of your uni life. Life IS short. There's so much to look forward to. Chins up!

Yvonne | 8:27 AM |
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