[to candice: bug-eyed tongue-out emoticon comes to my mind as I type this, hehe]

The past 1 week (and a half) has been crazy, to say the least. The very Monday that I sent R. off at the airport was the day that I submitted my resignation to my (ex-)company with immediate effect. While I feel that my reasons for doing so can be readily justified, let's just agree that work ethics-wise, it wasn't an acceptable thing to do. My greatest regret/fear out of the whole situation was that I'd become numb to the whole thing should future circumstances place me in a similar position once again. So, well. Here's a public chastisation to myself. Bad girl.

*slinks away*

*slinks back*

Hokay. Tuesday morning saw me at the new company under the tutorage of J - and thus started the madcap frenzy of cramming every possible detail/procedure into my stagnant brain. No thanks to 4 months of endless googling at the other place.

What has it really been like? Crazy, like I said. Welcome to the world of administration, where 5 brains and 8 limbs would fit you right in to the realm of The Efficient. My mantra has thus been One Thing At A Time. So far, so good. So far, that is. I keep wondering when I'll mess up. Having J. around was a huge comfort (and fun - all those inane giggling moments), until I had to go solo when her last day came to pass. Today marks Day #2 of feeling my way around like a naked mole-rat in broad daylight. In a bid to tidy up my cube, I keep discovering loose documents with nary a clue about their fate. (J.: Saturday, you die. Keke. :p)

In other news, not only was there a new work environment to adjust to, the weekend marked the start of another series of guitar lessons with the FaithActs kids, PLUS cramming in some C-math revision in order to pull myself through the tuition I've started giving to a bunch of JC2 students.

Random thought: Am I on some kind of subconcious suicide bid here?

NEVER in my entire life have I been so... occupied, in the sense of being involved in things that didn't fall under "personal time". No liberty to drift off into my own world (whatever/wherever that is), save for the time spent in commute and the rare instances like this when I'm home at night and not too shagged after a day of making 1001 decisions that didn't pertain to my own whims.

So gone are the days of when the inner me was literally screeching for some outlet to release the pent-up creative energy that came about from being seated at a desk with nearly NO work for 9 hours. Things have certainly made a 180 degree turn, but it may still be too early to take it for what it is at the moment, given that additional stress always comes with having to adapt to new environments. Just worried that I'll lose myself in the midst of all this adjustment and busy-ness. Like I'd mentioned to some people, I don't want to end up "growing up" and being assimilated into the humdrum of the office worklife.

At this point I wryly recall that the guitar and tutoring lessons had actually left me feeling more rejuvenated than drained. Could it just have been the result of an adrenaline rush from the sudden surge in mental calisthenics? Or just plain mental activity, to say the very least. Calisthenics would be more appropriate if I were actually churning out amazing or creative stuff, but for now, I think all I'm doing is waking my brain up from months of sleep mode. And about time too.

No final conclusion to this ramble. I can feel the Z-monster creeping up behind me, and besides, there isn't any conclusion to make until I get settled in to a routine of some kind.

But till then, and forever now, God help me.